These are all of the thoughts that ran through my head while watching Serena Williams stomp Maria Sharapova 6-2, 6-4 in the semifinals of Wimbledon. No filter.
- Sharapova literally has nothing to lose. She’s lost this match 16 times in a row.
- Chris Evert has already said that Sharapova doesn’t have a chance. Way harsh, Tai.
- Broken on the first game. Oh my, Maria.
- Betting right now that Serena wins the first set and loses the second.
- I’ll be bold and say Serena wins this set 6-0.
- Sharapova looks miserable. This is an instance in which it would be appropriate for her mother to appear and obnoxiously say, “It’s a game! It’s supposed to be fun!”
- I also feel like Serena is giving 75 percent right now.
- There you go, Maria. First fist pump of the match.
- Okay, okay. She held serve.
- Still doesn’t have a chance. Sorry, Sharapova.
- Whoa, Serena is kind of sucking this game.
- And she hits an ace right when she needs to.
- I didn’t know that Serena didn’t have a Career Grand Slam yet. Thank you, ESPN. Girl, you better start trying.
- It’s now 4-1, so I guess I was wrong. The first set score will be 6-1.
- Oooh 5-2. I keep getting more wrong.
- Okay, now that we got the first set out of the way …
- I’m predicting Serena tanks the second.
- This match is honestly pretty dull. I’m more intrigued by my Ritz crackers.
- Also the live-stream has been frozen for the last seven minutes so no clue what’s happening.
- And we’re back. It’s 2-all. I knew this second set would go differently.
- Ugh, turned the sound on and it’s the worst. Technically I’m commentating, but I think I’m better than these commentators. #modest
- Okay, wow, Serena. This match is actually a joke for you.
- Looks like she will win in straight.
- Listening to Trap Queen instead of commentators. That song is delightful and will never get old.
- I’m convinced Serena is barely trying at this point.
- Currently judging everyone in the stands’ hat selection.
- Is Sharapova tearing up? Do her eyes look watery? Or am I just imagining things to make this more interesting?
- Sharapova held serve!! I’m genuinely surprised. Hey, wassup, helloooo
- I love when Serena does that weird squat thing when she hits a winner.
- She just loves been dramatic. It’s great. I love it.
- Fist pump after every point. Power moves only, Serena.
- It’s over. It’s all over.
- Maria’s going to get broken. Calling it now.
- This ball boy really doesn’t know how to run ahahahaha. Why are his arms just flailing everywhere? Aren’t they supposed to be good at running? You have one job, young man.
- I’m mean.
- Ahhh Sharapova looks so upset.
- Martina Navratilova making a cameo. Her face is like, this is sooo boring.
- That was a good point. One of the few I’ve seen tbh.
- You guys don’t even want to know how many times in a row I’ve listened to Trap Queen.
- Omgggg it’s 5-4.
- But Serena’s not losing her serve.
- OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH … ace to win the match.
- Well … good effort, Sharapova?
- YAASSS QWEEN SERENA
- I actually love her.
- On to the finals! Stay tuned for more thoughts …
