Growing up, any child playing tennis competitively for the first time will inevitably experience losses on the court, most likely more than once. The big question is (for parents as well as coaches) how do you deal with a child that lets his anger out on the court during a match? Does it affect the child’s game in the long run and leave a bad impression on those watching? Is it necessary for a child to deal with this outwardly and learn from possibly toxic court behavior? John and I have found we may have differing opinions on this matter.
Janet: Back when I started, not only playing tennis for fun but competing in tournaments, it was hard on me to lose. Of course, I wanted to win very badly (who doesn’t?!), but is this really a reason to lose your temper, getting mad at your opponent, throwing your racquet or get grouchy on the court? Well, I certainly think it doesn’t have to be that way, even if a kid just started to play competitively. There has to be limits, and even at a young age being ambitious doesn’t mean you have to behave in a bad way on the court and in front of your opponent. Be respectful and stay calm, there will always be better players out there, it matters that you tried hard enough and gave your best, that’s at least the advice my parents gave me to take along! And even now it still applies for so many things!
John: On a basic level I agree with what you’re saying Janet. You should carry yourself a certain way on and off the court that shows respect to both your opponent and yourself. It’s never a good look seeing professionals lose their cool on the court but it inevitably happens time and again. Perfect example is Djokovic this past week in the French Open semifinal smashing his racquet against Gulbis. Here’s a pro at the top of his game losing his cool, that makes him look weak and vulnerable. I do however, understand this frustration. The most competitive players have an innately burning desire to do whatever it takes to win, so sometimes it boils over in the form of a racquet smash or yelling fit. Did you know that Roger Federer once had a problem with rage on the court? He turned out okay. To expect a child who is coming into their own, as a player and person, to be a model sportsman at all times is unrealistic. Do you think you should micromanage a students personal emotions in the same way you’d critique every detail of their serving mechanics?
Janet: Well, you are definitely right when you say that children, and of course any other player, should be able to show emotions during a match, but how is separate matter. I am just saying that children have to pay attention to how they behave on court,and in my opinion it doesn’t include throwing or smashing a racquet or even getting mad at an opponent just because the child is not satisfied with their overall game. And the sooner you learn how to deal with the frustration of losing, especially for a child, in a competitive environment the better off they’ll be. In my opinion, it is essential to their game. Honestly though, I think such behavior destroys your game even though you might feel as though you want to react a certain way in that moment.
John: I agree, there is a line. I know personally I was a very competitive athlete and sometimes I got heated at myself or an opponent. I think that unbridled competitiveness gave me an edge, and even confidence to succeed. It probably does come down to the individual though. For example, when I first started playing soccer, I was the most aggressive player on the field and didn’t take so well to those that didn’t play as hard as me or even those who did challenge me. I was young and was a bit rambunctious and some coaches viewed my eagerness as dangerous play. At the age of 6 it took just one practice, and one coach to yell in my face and I was done with soccer forever. If my child, or student who I’m coaching, throws a racquet or cries on the court am I going to tell them it’s forbidden or am going to explain the ramifications of their actions and let them work through them? Probably the latter. I guess it’s worth clarifying Janet, do you think these actions have no place at all in a players development or is it a coaching opportunity?
Janet: I mean, it is great to have an ambitious child who wants to win, no matter what. Most of the time they are very self-driven personalities and you don’t have to motivate them. But I don’t think you should be aggressive in your behavior but rather try to convert your aggression into a more effective game instead of wasting your power and concentration on grouching, complaining and throwing racquets. Don’t you think, John? Of course, every child is tempted to behave like that in a critical situation on the court, and if they do so, they definitely should learn that it is not the right thing to do. That’s the point where the instructor has to observe, explain and continue to work on the child’s mental game. Don’t you think it is the job of a tennis instructor to teach the student to control themselves on the court and isn’t it also an indication of how successful a coach they are?
John: So you agree with me? It’s okay for a child to act like a child sometimes as long as there is someone there to channel that frustration in a different way. When you were growing up in Germany were you the model student on the court? Did you never, ever, not once throw a fit?
Janet: I agree with you to a certain extent. But honestly, it shouldn’t become a routine on the court once they start failing. They have to learn how to deal with a bad day, too. And that doesn’t include throwing a racquet even though they are a child! There’s no better way to learn this lesson than at the beginning. Of course, I certainly got mad at myself or even about an opponent who might have cheated, but I never ever have thrown my racquet. I might have said something to myself but I never entertained the whole tennis club with my behavior on court. And if I did so (which of course happened, I’m not saying it hasn’t ever happened 🙂 ) my coach or even my parents said something. Do you really think it helped your game being that outwardly aggressive and showing a bad attitude?
John: Well I guess you were just a better child than me huh? That German discipline was instilled at an early age. To answer your question, in the moment, certainly not. I was however, a fiery athlete that was prone to an outburst here or there but I learned to have a short memory. I think where we agree is that being overly dramatic on the court (smashing racquets, yelling, etc.) is a problem for anyone who is trying to be a serious player. It has the potential to get in the way of focusing and can derail even the most talented player. I guess I have a less strict policy in that it’s okay to show emotion, even negative, if there’s a means to an end. Like I said even the best still get ticked off on the court, but it’s important to shrug it off and be able to focus on the next point. So for me, though racquet smashing isn’t ideal and that player should be admonished, it’s part of the game. If you get angry at yourself and it comes through on the court, take your warning and be better the next point.
Janet: I understand your point and I’m sure that some players just need this emotional outburst on the court. I am certainly glad that I had a coach who prevented me from doing so since it would have been very distracting for me. The few times I fell for it, the outcome wasn’t good. Most of the time, I lost my focus and couldn’t quite get back into my game. I guess, the “German” discipline (really, John?!) helped me at that point. 😉
John: Maybe there’s a reason USA tennis has fallen off the map. Either way, you should try a racquet smash at least once in your life…it’s oddly satisfying.
Janet: Maybe one day, I’ll go for this once in a lifetime experience! 🙂
