Inspired by the Total Sorority Move post “10 Reasons Why Harry Potter is Frat” by Pearls Hilton
So what if they don’t have fraternities in Switzerland? Roger Federer is by far the frattiest tennis player around. Don’t believe me? Here’s 10 reasons why Fed is a total frat bro.
His hair is always perfect
Fed always keeps his flow fresh because that’s what frat bros do. It doesn’t matter if he’s played five sets in the Australian heat, not a hair will be out of place on the Fed’s head.
He’s bros with Michael Jordan
Most frat bros who rock the Chicago Bulls 23 jersey only dream of hanging with MJ, but Fed is cool enough to have His Airness as a BFL (bro for life). If the two threw a frat party it would be Space Jam themed and they’d serve Swiss beer.
His selfies get thousands of retweets
Blurry pic of Rog withstanding some raindrops? 1,200 retweets. Ski lift selfie? 4,000 retweets. Bird poop selfie? Yep, more people retweeted a picture of Fed with feces on his shoulder (poop jokes are so bro) than the number of retweets you’ll probably get in your lifetime. Forget what you’ve heard about Roger being a nice guy. He’s obviously an ultra egomaniac like any good frat bro and people love him for it.
He rocks the frat wardrobe
Aviators? Check. Pastel pants? Check. Loafers? Button downs? Cashmere sweaters? Check, check, check. Fed always looks like he’s on his way to brunch at the country club, even when he’s on the court at Wimbledon, which is a TFM (total frat move).
He wears Rolex
Rog wears a $100,000 timepiece on his wrist because as one of the world’s highest paid athletes he’s got money in the bank. Actually, Roger is so frat that he’s wearing that watch for free — Rolex is just one of his many sponsors that collectively give him more than $40 million annually. He’s also sponsored by the champagne brand Moet & Chandon so you know he’s poppin’ bottles in the Geneva clubs. So frat.
He’s on a postage stamp
Fed is so frat that in 2007 the Swiss government made him the first living citizen to have his face on a postage stamp. Yes, he’s that important that you have to pay for a picture of his face to send your grandma a letter.
Biddies love him more than free wifi
If there’s one thing basic girls love it’s free wifi — literally the second they walk into a Starbucks they’re accepting the user agreement on their iPhones even before ordering a PSL (pumpkin spice latte). But Fed is so frat that at the Shanghai Masters some girls held up a sign that said “I [heart] Roger Federer more than Free Wifi.” Being that loved by the ladies is the cross a true frat bro has to bear. But sorry, gals — he’s taken.
His parties are pretty exclusive
At Fed’s fraternity parties there’s an exclusive guest list. Sorry if you aren’t a world famous designer like Oscar de la Renta or a movie star like Bradley Cooper — cause you’re NOT getting in.
Stan Wawrinka is basically his little brother
Like most frat guys, Fed is super tight with his little, the one and only Stan Wawrinka. Fed and Stan are the frattiest duo because they do things like dominate the Davis Cup and take selfies during press conferences. They also love getting rowdy, which is the only time it’s acceptable for frat bros to hug and carry one another.
He’s the best at what he does
Rog holds the record for winning the most grand slam titles (17), held the no. 1 spot on the ATP tour for 237 weeks, is one of four men in the Open Era to capture a career grand slam, and has earned the most prize money of any male player in history. The list of his accomplishments and records goes on. He might be no. 2 on the tour now, but he’s still no. 1 in our hearts. Frat on, Fed.
