I bet when you tennis fanatics read that headline you thought, “What? My serve is better than Sabine Lisicki’s?” (She holds the record for fastest WTA serve, if you didn’t know). But no, that’s not what I meant. You can’t do anything better than the pros on a tennis court, I’m sorry to say.
However, because we can’t all be Sabine or Serena or Simona after a few tennis lessons, I came up with a (very) short list of other things you’re better at that I think just may be more important. Since I’m a female and often compare myself to WTA players, this one mostly applies to the ladies, but to all the males reading — this may just boost your self esteem, too. By the way, you should still take those tennis lessons.
Keep up with pop culture
On Oct. 9 of this year former U.S. Open champion Victoria Azarenka tweeted “Alright #chipotle lets see what u is about,” implying that she has NEVER HAD CHIPOTLE. Considering the burrito haven was founded in 1993 and is THE premier Tex-Mex chain that can be found across the country, what’s your excuse for waiting until now to eat it, Vika??? This is an establishment of which Cracked.com said, “If you do not have a Chipotle near you, your city is not worth living in.” It is a restaurant to which Buzzfeed has dedicated dozens of listicles. Chipotle is almost more of a pop icon than the queen bee, Beyoncé. (Calm down, I said almost).
No you did not, nor will you ever win a grand slam title. But you certainly know that if you go to Chipotle dressed in costume anytime after 4 p.m. on Halloween you’ll get a $2 burrito. Which is more important?
Deal with hangovers
After her U.S. Open win this year, Serena Williams spent the evening boozing away with tournament runner-up and gal pal Caroline Wozniacki. We love that Serena offered to buy the loser drinks with her 5 mil in prize money, but the next morning she just didn’t show up for “Good Morning America” and NBC’s “Today.” Seriously?? Even after your friend force-fed you tequila shots, or you accidentally drank an entire bottle of wine when you meant to have a glass you still managed to get to school/work/other obligations the following day. And no, you were not chugging water and coffee to do something cool, like be interviewed by Matt Lauer, you were going to sit through calculus or a client meeting.
Yeah, we know Serena’s no. 1 in the world, but guess what you’re no. 1 at? Dealing with hangovers like a champ. In the grand scheme of things, isn’t that more valuable?
Choose whom to date
After she won in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open this year, Eugenie Bouchard was asked by a reporter about her dream date. Genie, who had her own “Army” of guys cheering her on in the stands, replied, “Ummm, Justin Bieber?” Justin Bieber? Really? In all fairness, she made this statement a few days before her fellow Canadian’s Lamborghini joy ride, when he was arrested on a charge of drunk driving in Miami Beach. Still, by this point, Justin’s “One Less Lonely Girl” days were long gone and he had taken to wearing heinous drop crotch pants. You’ve made a few poor judgement calls in your dating life, but you certainly never gave someone who took a selfie wearing a Chanel robber’s mask a second thought. Couldn’t she have picked a more wholesome teen celebrity crush? Perhaps the guys in The Hunger Games, or even the ones in Twilight.
We’re not claiming to be as good a tennis player as Genie. But we can navigate the dating world a little better, and know who’s a catch and who isn’t.
Watch what you say
This summer tennis princess Sloane Stephens basically told everyone who reads Elle magazine the nitty-gritty details of her recent visit to the gyno, how her diamond earrings are better than those of rival Caroline Wozniacki, and that she doesn’t know how to pump gas (and she’s not even from Jersey). Not that we don’t appreciate Sloane taking care of her health down there nor understand the difficulty that is finding where to place the fuel nozzle in a Range Rover (hey, the first part of that sentence was serious), but pretty sure we wouldn’t volunteer that info to a publication with a readership of about 6 million.
It’s easy to forget Sloane is still only 21 and relatively new to being in the public eye — and the Elle reporter cut her some slack, writing, “her behavior triggers memories of my own selfish adolescent moments, and […] I don’t fully buy the cartoonish brattiness.” Maybe we’ve all been there, Sloane, but you want at least a few fans cheering for you at the next grand slam — perhaps some humility? So yeah, you’ll never beat Serena Williams (at age 19, no less), but you know when a topic is taboo and when to be gracious.
There it is, proof you’re better than a professional tennis player at something.
