The Unquenchable Thirst of a GOAT: A Cautionary Tale

Rotterdam is the scene of the crime. It’s an innocuous enough city, once known for having Europe’s largest port and mayo on french fries (a crime for another time), will now be known as the city where heinous ambition was allowed to run amok. Aren’t we allowed to just appreciate a wholesome match-up like Andreas Seppi and Daniil Medvedev without Roger Federer stealing the spotlight? Does Roger really NEED the number one ranking again? He can’t even just have one set of twins, he needs a second. Always trying to one up himself. Roger Federer has successfully hijacked the ATP tours will to compete, has claimed occupancy of every tennis fan’s mind, and drained the media’s once thought to be endless hot takes. What does this crime of selfishness and pursuit to retake the number one ranking, say both about the athlete and the man?

Federer’s ambitions have far reaching ramifications for everyone. Do you know how many points he has to defend in upcoming tournaments just to keep this possibly fleeting number one ranking? Yeah, I’m not about to do the math and let Roger Federer make a nerd out of me. What next, he’s going to make me take a neutral position on all international military conflicts? Not on this American’s watch. And what about the up-and-comers like Alexander Zverez and Dominic Thiem who were supposed to be next in line for the crown? Now look at them. The tennis world only sees them now as young, dumb, and full of crippling self-doubt. All because of the black-hole-of-a-shadow of one power hungry champion. Even fans of opposing players such as Robin Haase, the man standing in Federer’s way for his number one ranking, have been brainwashed into cheering for the Swiss. Luckily Robin corrected the fan, but will he be able to find the courage this time around?    


It’s clear that Roger Federer is burdening the general public, but what is the personal price of his pursuit for one final suckle of the number ranking tit? Throughout his career he has displayed gross self absorption. How did we not see this coming? $800 haircuts, garish white sport coats with his own initials on them, and he wanted Leo Dicaprio to play him in a biopic about himself. Something tells me Rafa Nadal isn’t spending close to one thousand dollars on his “haircut”. Besides the obvious self obsession, I worry with such unrelenting ambition, Roger will no longer be able to enjoy the simple things in life. How are you supposed to appreciate a Swiss Alps getaway or a private jet flight to Dubai when all you can think about is regaining one’s past glory.

Forget Icarus. We could all learn from the cautionary tale of a man who needs to be number one one last time.


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